Thursday, November 21, 2013

Survivor's Blog November 21, 2013. Article by Susan Vento....

Several years ago I lost a good friend and mentor, Wally Comer, to Mesothelioma. Prior to his illness, I did not even know what Mesothelioma was. Unlike the Ovarian Cancer that I have, Mesothelioma is completely preventable because it is caused by exposure to asbestos!

So when I was contacted by Susan Vento of the Asbestos Cancer Victims' Rights Campaign, I immediately agreed to help them in any way I could. Susan lost her husband to this terrible disease. Here is a link to Susan's story on the ACVRC website, so that you can take a minute and do something about a completely preventable cancer.

http://cancervictimsrights.org/memories-that-inspire-my-story-of-hope/


 


Saturday, November 9, 2013

Survivor's Blog- November 9, 2013 - Good news!!!

Hello Everyone-

Today's post is just a short one with some good news. I had my monthly appointment with my Oncologist, Dr. Smith this past Wednesday. For the first time all year, I am on a chemo that I am not having allergic reactions to, and my CA125 blood test improved by 50 points! The drop in my blood work numbers is impressive. Generally a number like that means the cancer is clearing out.We won't know for another couple months when they do a pet scan.

I do have a brain scan scheduled for Friday. One of the side effects of this new treatment is a whopping head ache. Personally, I can stand a few weeks of head ache for a future with out cancer.

So this week has been a good week!

Hampton Mansion flowers, beauty always keeps headaches away!!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Survivor's Blog - November 5, 2013- Vote for SCOA and a quick update....

Hi Everyone-

I promised my nurses at SCOA that I would ask all of my readers to vote for SCOA in the annual Pink Glove Dance competition. Technically, it is for breast cance but, the winning video wins $25,000 for the facility that made the video. In South Carolina Oncology's case the $25,000  will allow them to continue some of their amazing services, like cancer research and aid for patients who are not insured. For your vote to count you must log on to www.pinkglovedance.com and vote for SC Oncology Associates no later than this Thursday, November 8, 2013!!!!

Once you have voted, I can let you know that I am doing OK! My next chemo is on the 13th at 8:00 AM. If you plan to visit you should know I am usually done by 11AM. This particular chemo treatment has run up my blood pressure which is giving me extreme headaches. So if I do not return your calls or emails it is because doing so is wearing me out. I promise I will be back in touch and OK shortly. As a matter of fact I have an appointment in the morning at SCOA that will hopefully help me fix the headaches and the blood pressure.

Rock the vote everybody!!!

Tara



Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Survivors Blog - October 30, 2013- Chemo and Blog Update: Blog topics will be indexed on pages for easier navigation!!!

Hi Everyone-

Just a quick update, I had chemo today. I am a bit sick but, I should be fine in the AM. So no worries. They even got me some new medicine for some of the nastier side effects.  I promise some phone calls to all the folks I am out of touch with this week.

The better news is that I finally have enough blog posts behind me to start to index the pages on Scrambled Eggs. This way survivors can go to a page and simply look for the topic that will help them or an article that will inspire them. Take a look at the pages on this blog titled, "Tips and Tricks" and " Articles" and see what you think? Make sure to let me know if you have any ideas that would make it better or easier for me to do.

Tara

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Survivor's Blog - October 26, 2013 - Thank You

As many of you have probably noticed, I have not posted in 10 days. Chemo is kicking my butt this time around. I am making it in to teach but, not getting much of anything else done. Thankfully, we have wonderful friends and family who have graciously helped out these past few weeks. I would like to take a moment and thank them here:

Meg P.- Thank you for taking the bull by the horns and getting me a "Buzzy" to stop the pain while I have blood drawn!!! You have made many of my days so much easier.

Suzann & George P.- Thank you for taking me to the State Fair. Not only did you drive me there, you kept me out of the sun and made sure I stayed healthy the whole time!!!

Erin D- My sister, thank you for coming down and sitting through almost every chemo session I have had for the past 2 1/2 years!! ( Despite the fact that you live 3 hours away.) Also a huge thanks for the 2 or 3 hours of vacuuming every surface in my house a couple weeks ago!

Thomas F and sons- Thank you for coming down today and fixing all the crazy plumbing issues in my house! You saved us a bundle and we really enjoyed having you all here.

Bo Hoffman- Thank you for taking your whole Saturday and coming down here all the way from NC to help Thomas fix all the things we have not had time to fix!!!

Kathy and the "ladies from Michael's on Harbison Yarn Night"( Christine and Diane) - for taking all that yarn the Cancer Center had lying around and making it into fantastic hats for the patients at SCOA! ! !You guys are amazing.

Heather A. - My cousin, for your unending stream of cheerful emails, face book messages and adorable cards. You are a one woman "cheer up & get better" support team.
Thank You !

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Survivor's Blog- October 16, 2013 Chemo Update

Today is my second try at chemo in two weeks. This time they were able to set an IV in my port. So now I am hooked up to an IV and impatiently waiting to be done and leave. The pain in my port is much better today though it is still present.

Of course, I am going to ignore the go home and rest orders from my nurse today. I am going home to take a nap and then Suzann, my wonderful neighbor, is taking me to the South Carolina State Fair. I am so excited to see all the cakes my students did for the cake decorating and tasting competitions I have heard through the grape vine that some of them won some good prizes!!!




A cake done by Henrietta W., a past student who is now a Wilton Instructor!




Sunday, October 13, 2013

Happy Belated Anniversay- Scrambled Eggs is a year old!!!

Happy Birthday "Scrambled Eggs"! It is a year down the road from my first blog post and I am happy to say that the Ovarian Cancer Blog is still up and going. At first, I wondered if I was really helping anyone at all? Or was I just talking to myself?

Recently, I have had confirmation that the blog is getting out there. I have met a bunch of survivors and  the blog was  featured on the PSI bands web site. I also learned that for me writing is cathartic. So I am going to keep at this.

I would love it if those of you who have been affected by cancer would write a post for me. I get a large number of people offering to write posts for the blog, then almost no one sends me posts. So if you are reading this , hook a girl up with a post! I can send you some quick guidelines and then you can be featured on the blog. The goal here is to help others through the journey that is cancer.

In the meantime, celebrate a little with me and wish "Scrambled Eggs" a happy birthday!!!

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Survivor's Blog- October 12, 2013. Eye care during chemo.

If you have ever had to have chemotherapy treatments for cancer, you know that the treatment changes your vision. Sometimes the changes in your vision are permanent, other times they are due to the chemo shrinking your eyes. The shrinking in your eyes is from loss of moisture and likely will change again as soon as you are no longer on chemo. If you have vision issues during chemo, you will have to forgo your contact lenses and go to glasses for the duration of the treatment.If you are insured like I am, your insurance may cover vision care. In my case, our insurance does provide for vision care but, the percentage they pay for is so small that I have never used my vision coverage.

Since I am a woman who likes getting a good value ( and I have a whole blog based on " cheap thrills"). The moment I found out I could not wear my contacts, I started investigating the cheapest and best ways to get my hands on prescription glasses that I could wear during my treatment. What I found is that there are several retail stores that allow you to purchase exams and eye wear at a discount. The one that seems to offer the best deals ( in my area) on an exam is" America's Best". The trick is to use their services wisely. This is how you get the best deal on an exam:

1. Call and schedule your exam.

2. When they ask why you are getting an exam, tell them you want to be examined for both contacts and glasses.

3. When you go in remember to stress to them that you want a contacts and eyeglass prescription ( if you don't tell them they will charge your for a second appointment to get the contacts prescripton) and have them give you a copy of your prescription when you are done with your exam. If they refuse to give you a copy ask if you can have your eyeglass store contact them for the prescription.

4. The cheapest way to get an exam is to join the "Eyecare Club". The cost is $99.00 to become a member and the club gives you a couple of benefits. The first benefit is that the $99.00 you spend gives you 3 yearly exams. This means you get one exam every year for a total of 3 years. The second benefit of joining the club is a 3 year discount on any eye glasses you purchase from their store or online. The store has outlets all over the USA and you can use it at any location - just keep your receipt.

5. Once you have your exam and your prescription you can buy your glasses or contacts right at America's Best if you like. If I am going to buy my glasses from them I make sure to schedule my appointment when they are having a 2 pair for $69.00 sale ( the sale offers you several price points that you can get two pairs for, you just have to pick how high you want to go in price).

6. Be very careful if you do buy your glasses in store that you ask for the price on everything! Tints, bifocals, transition lenses,and other add ons cost money and can kill your savings pretty quickly.

7. If you geel like the price on glasses or contacts  is too high in the store: take your prescription and hit the internet. There are a number of sites out there that offer inexpensive glasses. Two of my favorites are:

www.eyeglasses.com

www.1800contacts.com

Of course, you can also walk in with your prescription and use it at any of the Club Stores or Wal Mart to buy glasses there. You do not have to have an exam someplace in order to be able to buy glasses from them.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Survivor's Blog- October 10, 2013 Chemo Update

Hello Everyone-

I usually try and post only good news to my blog. Some days, there is just no good news to report. So I will just update you all on my progress with chemo and leave it at that.

I went in for chemo yesterday. Normally, the day after chemo. I post to let you all know that it went well and that I am fine. Well, today I am OK but, chemo went far from well. I went in to SCOA at 7:00 am as usual and by 8:00 am they had my chair ready and my chemo all lined up. Since I can no longer use my right arm for IV's, my chemo nurse had to access the port that I have in my chest. Usually this is a very simple procedure. Yesterday, when she inserted the needle, I felt a pain so strong that I had to run to the restroom and vomit. They tried a second time to access the port with the same result.

So they sent me over to Lexington Medical Center Hospital for a scan of my port to see what the problem was. After a bunch of waiting around, the Doctor finally came in and looked at my scan. He actually had the nerve to look me in the face and tell me that "ports don't hurt" so he told me he had no idea what the problem was? He did everything to imply that  I couldn't possibly be in pain!!!! Had I not been in so much pain, I probably would have decked him. I actually asked him if the fact that I was pouring sweat, and clutching the table as they put the fluid through the needle meant I was not hurting or what?

Anyway, what it all boils down to is that they have no idea why my port hurts. They wanted me to reschedule my chemo ASAP ( as in today or tomorrow) but, I could not bring myself to do so yesterday was just too much for me. So I will be in chemo again next Weds at 8:00 am provided they can use my port.

If any of you have run into this issue, I would love to know how you solved it? Message me if you do have any solutions.


Friday, October 4, 2013

The Buzzy- a device that stops the pain of a shot!!!!

If you have been following my journey with Ovarian Cancer, you probably know how tired I am right now. My body is physically tired and so is my mind. One of the biggest problems I have been experiencing has been with my veins. I have only one place they can stick me for blood or lab tests outside of my CT Port, my right arm. The veins in my right arm are so jacked up and damaged from the hundreds of needle sticks I have had in the last two years that drawing my blood has become a really, really painful experience!!! I have had days where they have made me cry and days where I flat did not want to even let them touch me to take blood.

The blood draw/IV thing is a real problem for me. My doctor convinced me to get a CT rated port,  a device that runs a tube from an artery/vein to a device under your skin that they can plug a needle in to.This way they can take your blood without much effort. The doctor explained that once I had the port, they would just use that to take my blood and start my IV's. As it turns out , he was not really telling me the truth.  First of all, if you have a port, the only people who can access it must be certified to do so. Many nurses and doctors are not certified to access your port  so you either have to locate one who is, or let them stick you in the arm.  I have actually been in the Emergency room several times and only once did they have someone willing to set an IV using my port. Many times they have had to stick me in the arm 7 or 8 times before they could get a needle set. Secondly, many folks who we cancer patients have to deal with regularly will not touch the port at all certified or not. If they have to "draw your port" , they will just tell you they can't treat you and send you back to your cancer doctor. I think they feel the risk of infection is just too great. Finally, they don't tell you that while the port is a one needle stick experience- it still hurts. And trust me,  if your port moves under the skin and they have to move it back in position you will wish you were under anesthesia!!!!

For months I have been trying methods to short circuit the pain I have when they stick me in the arm. I tried ice, meditation, prayer, and popping pain killer before I go to treatment. None of my attempts at pain control worked. So I was really excited to see the inventor of a device called "The Buzzy" on the Jeff Probst show this summer.  As soon as I saw the device, I wanted to try it. However, when I went to their web site I found that the one I needed was going to be $59.00 plus shipping . I mentioned it to my friend, Meg, and told her I was saving up to get one for myself . She took the matter in to her own hands and called the President of the company that makes " The Buzzy" and got them to send one to her! I owe her a big thank you!  After several foiled attempts at using it in the past three weeks, I finally drew my favorite phlebotomist, Adrian. I showed her how it was supposed to work and she said "lets try it" . So we used the ice and then turned it on , she then took one stick and drew my blood. I cannot tell you how great it was, the key is that it took her one stick to get my blood! It also just hurt a little bit!!! I am sure if I did not have the veins of a habitual heroin junky, it would not have hurt at all. Now I just have to convince the other phlebotomists to let me use it and I will be in business.

The cool thing is "The Buzzy" is a device you can use if you are afraid of needles or if you have a child who hates shots. The woman who designed the device is a Pediatrician named, Amy Baxter. She has a child that was really freaked out by shots. Here is the link:

http://www.buzzy4shots.com/

This is the Buzzy. It has wings you freeze and the body vibrates to stop pain.




Thursday, October 3, 2013

Survivor's Blog October 3, 2013- Set some goals....

Hey Everyone-

I am so happy to say that I had a good Doctors appointment today at SCOA!

I did not have exciting results except for the fact that my hemoglobin and white blood cells are doing well so far!

I did get a few things done. If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have been considering my options with this treatment thing. I am so emotionally and physically tired that I have been wanting to discontinue chemo treatments. I don't want cancer to kill me, I just feel at this point the chemo is more damaging than the cancer and it is time to explore some other things that may work.

I also am facing losing my beloved Oncologist, Dr. Terry Smith. who is retiring in December. I promised myself I would do the final three months of my chemo while looking for options for myself and my future treatment. I made a few goals for things to do before my treatment ends in December 2013:

1. Explore Medicare and get my sign up completed.

2. Explore the Oncologists available to me at SCOA.

3. Look in to alternative treatments for my disease and alternative more holistic programs within 3 hours of my home

4. Look in to research studies coming up in my area for patients with my disease.


Today, I actually accomplished one of my goals. I found my new SCOA doctor. I was not comfortable with the one who would have been assigned to me. I went in and asked the first doctor a bunch of  questions and while he was helpful,  I did not feel too comfortable with him . So I asked SCOA if I could see Doctor option number 2. I had my appointment with him today and he turns out to be good fit for me.

Bottom line, you can set goals for your treatment and how you wish to handle things. If your Doctor is uncomfortable with what you want to accomplish, it is time to get a new Doctor!!!




Sunday, September 29, 2013

Survivor's Blog September 29, 2013 - The Warning Signs of Ovarian Cancer...

I was going to do a page on the symptoms of Ovarian Cancer but,  I found this page done by W2W Magazine, I could not do a better job than they have done here.


Ovarian Cancer is the 5th largest cancer killer among women yet many doctors are not even aware of all of the symptoms. Those of you that have followed my progress with this disease know that at least 5 doctors looked right at my tumor and misdiagnosed it. So knowing your risks and the symptoms is up to you!!!!

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Survivor's Blog September 28, 2013- On Happiness....

A life threatening cancer diagnosis causes strange things to  happen. In my case, I have had so many people help me and my family, that it is hard to know where to start thanking people. If I had to write Thank You's to everyone it would probably take me a week to do. Before cancer, I was never sure where I fit in? I felt like I was always on the outside of life looking in. I was  always striving for more and never fully happy. Of course, some of that is my California upbringing. We silicon valley kids are taught to keep striving for bigger, better , and more in life regardless of where we are in life. Sometime in July 2011 during my hospital stays.. I discovered that I was truly loved. Not only was I truly loved but, my family was valued and loved deeply as well. This discovery changed my whole being.

More people than I can even list or mention, went out of their way to help us in both small and large ways. People we were only remotely connected to, stepped up and helped us in surprising ways. All of this help and support manifested in my life and caused a profound change in my life and way of being in the world.

For the first time in my life, I was truly happy! I know how crazy that sounds.. how can a person be happy, content, and even joyful with a stage 4 cancer diagnosis hanging over their head? I cannot explain fully, how the change in my emotional life came about, only that it did. I do know a small part of the positive change did come from finally knowing for sure what was wrong with my physical body. I had been really, really, sick for over 10 years  with no real diagnosis. The relief that comes from knowing what was wrong and receiving the proper treatment for it was nothing short of a miracle! I think that the rest of the emotional change came from finally knowing what my place was in the world. The change did not stem from people doing things for me or helping us out. It stemmed from finally being able to see clearly where I fit in. Oddly, Cancer gave me permission to jettison all the silly stuff and just get down to the core of who I am and what I want. Cancer allowed me to finally be myself... appearances be dammed.

So if you see me out and about, be reassured that I am happy as I have ever been. I am grateful for my friends, family, and lifestyle. I am not unhappy about my cancer, so there is no need for worrying.. life is sooo good.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Therapy Dogs- my favorite day at SCOA .. Phoenix day!

OK, I will admit it.. my favorite nurse at SCOA is not really a nurse!!!




He is a volunteer  therapy dog named Phoenix. He comes in with his Mom, Kathy, to cheer people up. It certainly works for me! Who can resist this big Great Dane coming and putting his head down in your lap for a pat on the head?




SCOA actually has a number of human and doggie volunteers who help the patients out on a daily basis. Each and every one of them has certainly earned a great big Thank You!!!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Survivor's Blog September 26, 2013- As a patient you have the right to ask questions...

Hello Everyone-

Quick update for those of you who are checking on me. My chemo went well yesterday, I am still riding high on the steroids so I am pretty OK today too ( outside of a little nausea).Nothing else to report health wise.

So I wanted to do a post based on a discussion we had yesterday about Cancer Care and health care in general. I think many people feel strange about this topic and it is why I am going to address it in my blog:


Patients have a right to question their doctors!

We have a right to say "no" to any treatment we are not comfortable with.

We have a right to ask for pricing and insurance coverage before we say yes to a procedure.

For those of you that have not met me, I live in the US in the deep, deep south. The prevailing patient attitude here is that Doctors are all seeing and all knowing. As a patient this translates to following your doctors orders to the letter without question. Many of he folks in treatment alongside me don't even seem to be clear on their diagnosis, they are just following the doctors recommendation for treatment! If you are comfortable with not knowing what is going on with your health, this is definitely the way to approach treatment. As a Cali girl, I  grew up with the California attitude.. Question Authority. I come to every doctors appointment with a note book and questions. I want to be very clear on both my diagnosis and the options that I have. After I have finished the appointment I save my notes and go over them later for clarification before I make any decisions about what treatment I will approve and what I will research.  My oncologist was extremely offended by this at first, we had several battles over my questions. I finally told him, I am not looking to contradict you, or offend you I just want a clear understanding of what my choice are and how those choices will affect me. That was our final battle about my questions and notes, he now comes into the room and just takes the notebook from my hands - he patiently runs through each question with me and then he presents his agenda for the appointment.  If I am too sick to ask questions, I bring someone with me who will --and I also have them take notes.


You also have a right to say "No" to any treatment you feel is not for you emotionally, health wise, or financially. For example, when I am on chemo. treatment,  my hemoglobin often drops way below average levels. I can actually tell before they test me that it has dropped because I feel so awful! The standard treatment for this is either a shot of a medicine called Aronesp, or a blood transfusion. Either option comes with risks. For me personally, I can accept the risks of the shot if I so sick that I need a quick fix. I personally feel that if I have to have a transfusion to keep me going, we have pumped more chemotherapy into me than I can handle. If this is the case, I think it is time to stop chemo for a while and let me heal,  not have a transfusion! My doctor does not agree with me .. but, he is not the one in chemo, I am!!! So I say no to transfusions in this case.. it is my right and everyone has been made aware of my choice.

Finally, you also have the right to ask questions about cost and insurance coverage before they do any treatment on you. You also have the right to negotiate!! Please be aware- you may be quoted three different prices for the same procedure! Medicine seems to be like the used car dealers, they charge what they think they can get you to pay and they have no shame about an aspirin costing $40.00!!! It is your job to ferret out the financial option that works for you. I am aware that for some of us our costs are so high it seems like nothing will work ... this is when you need to pull out your negotiating skills. You can make this work.. you just have to remember they do want to help you get well.



Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Survivor's Blog- September 25, 2013 Chemo update...

Today is chemo day, I am already hooked up to an IV. Hopefully, this means I will be able to leave as soon as possible. Believe it or not, the past two weeks have been fairly good.  So far on this chemo I feel a bit better than I have in the past few months.

Erin came down for a couple days to take me to chemo and help me out with my crazy house. I am so grateful she was able to come down and help me!!


Prayers please for my friend Donna who is still awaiting her biopsy results today.


Sunday, September 22, 2013

Survivor's Blog- Some helpful products if you have Neuropathy or Foot Pain

I have been on chemo for almost a year this time, if you add the chemo I did in 2011, I have had 16 months of chemotherapy in the last two years. That much chemotherapy means you are bound to have some really nasty reoccurring side effects. This morning I find myself reminded of my treatment by severe pain in the bottoms of both of my feet. It is really going to hurt to get out of bed today. Despite the pain, I will get out of bed and go on about my day. I have a Gum Paste Flowers class to teach today and my advanced students always cheer me up and inspire me! On top of that my wonderful sister, Erin, is taking a week of her time off and spending it with me starting after class today.

So here are a few tips that I use to short the pain receptors in my feet and get on with my day:

1. Cooling slippers- The Sharper Image sells a "cooling slipper" that is designed with cool gel in the foot bed. The slipper soothes painful feet and provides lots of padding to help you get around.

Sharper Image Slippers from Bed Bath and Beyond.


2. Pain relieving gel or creme- I use either a Ben Gay type cream or a Bio Freeze and roll it on my feet before I sleep at night and after I take a bath in the morning. I like the relievers that are as close to all natural as I can afford. The ones with Cayenne in them seem to work the best for me.

3. Hot bath- I use hot baths to help with pain as often as I can. It helps if you can occasionally use Epsom salts in the bath. The other soothing bath I like to use is with Johnson's Baby Bath in it- I like the one with Lavender for sleep. For some reason the lavender helps ease pain.

4. Diabetic Neuropathy Cream- You can find this with the diabetic supplies at your local pharmacy. I do not have diabetes but, I do have Neuropathy. This condition either causes my hands and feet to be completely dead and numb or they become very , very painful and sting for hours. The cream just helps ease some of those symptoms. If I use it , I skip the Ben Gay.


I hope these tips will  help you out. Please remember I am not a doctor, these are just things that have worked for me in these long months of treatment.




Saturday, September 21, 2013

Survivor's Blog- September 21, 2013 How Cancer has been a theme in my life...

In some ways, I think I was destined to become a Cancer Patient. I know for sure, that Cancer has been a strong recurring theme in my life. This blog will tell you how Cancer first made an appearance in my life. I think that my diagnosis may have been a way for the universe to push me in the direction of becoming a Cancer Advocate. No matter how hard I try in life I cannot come at anything the easy way or the typical way.  For some reason it always takes me longer to see my path in life than the next guy. So here I am blogging when I can, trying to get the word out there about Ovarian Cancer. My next goal will be to do some public speaking on the subject when I get done with Chemotherapy treatments. So if any of you need a fledgling inspirational speaker look me up.

Maybe I should start today by telling you all why I think Cancer is one of the themes of my path in life. Those of you who know me from childhood, know that I grew up in an oddball home. I had parents who loved me but, could never express that love in a normal healthy way. When my parents separated I was 13 years old. They were so busy fighting, bickering, and tearing down what they had built during their marriage that they left my sister and I to fend for ourselves. Regardless of anything else in my life, I became responsible for myself at age 14. I ended up running my life with little or no supervision from the adults in my world. As with most kids that this happens to, I was in a tailspin that first year. I tried drugs ( many drugs), ran with a rotten crowd, and generally did anything I could to get anyone to notice me and do what adults are supposed to do when a child is clearly having issues. Fortunately, god blessed me with a functioning brain and I started to come down to earth and back to normal when I was 15.

I owe a large part of my journey to the friends I had at the time: Carol D., Liz S., Karl T., Valerie B. and Yvette M.. All of these amigos had wonderful parents, who saw what was happening with me and stepped in to raise me. I know for sure if Carol's Mom had not semi adopted me, I would never have lived through high school. Gloria D. was the woman who made sure my parents paid for school clothes and supplies, and took me shopping to get them. Liz's mother and Yvette's mom both allowed me hundreds of sleepovers. Liz's Mom let me tag along on trips out of town with  her family, she helped me get to my SATs, and took me to do things I never would have experienced with my parents (like Highland Games).  All of them gave me a glimpse at what a normal life should look like.

As I grew up and left the small town I was raised in , I had many people stand in for my parents and made many friends. Cancer became a recurring theme in my life from age 14 forward. The first experience I had with Cancer was when my childhood friend, Valerie B.  was diagnosed with Cancer our Freshman year at Lost Gatos High School. Valerie was one of the smartest, most dynamic people I knew. She was in advanced classes and when she wasn't at school she was a ballerina. She was the kind of athlete that was on toe shoes and aiming to go to ABT if she had a chance. We hung out in 4-H club together since we both had a love of showing and raising Rex rabbits. We had joined 4-H together at age 9 and it was the glue to our friendship.

Otherwise , I was so absorbed with trying to take care of myself that I did not take very good care of her. She was so brave. I remember one afternoon as we were leaving school together to carpool home she decided to run to the car. As soon as she took her first running step.. her wig flew off. I will never forget her laughter at being bald in front of the high school. There I was mortified for her, and she thought the whole thing was too funny. In retrospect, I can see the road map she gave me for dealing with Cancer with as much dignity as you can muster.

 I of course, had my own demons to fight at the time. I was growing apart from Valerie simply by geography. I had to live with my Father in San Jose  and she had a wonderful life with her family back in Los Gatos. As we went through high school she had to stop taking classes on campus and take classes at home. Our relationship dwindled down to phone conversations and the occasional activity together. Her disease scared me, I did not understand it. I was too young and narcissistic to have any empathy for her. As far as regrets in life go,  I don't have many. My failure to do more for Valerie is probably the one thing I would go back and change if I had a chance.

Valerie actually made it through those four years of high school. We graduated together in 1984 and she proudly walked at graduation with our class. She died about 2 weeks later from a brain tumor that the doctor's had failed to diagnose . I had no one to support me and take me to her funeral, so I did not go.. it scared me too much. To this day I regret not being there for her family and for her.

Valerie, wherever you are now, I want to thank you. You taught me that you can be happy regardless what happens to you. You taught me that you can move forward in life no matter what your circumstances. And finally, you taught me that good friends are not to be discounted. We don't get many chances in life for true lasting friendship. We get even fewer chances to help our friends transition from life to death with dignity and happiness. I blew my first chance and have been making it up ever since. I hope wherever you are that you can see how you changed the course of my life here on earth.


The photo is a  1976 Photo of our 4-H
Field Day!!



Friday, September 20, 2013

Survivor's Blog September 20, 2013- Nail Care during chemo ( more things your doctor does not tell you...)

Hello Everyone-


I am feeling a little bit better today, still exhausted but, better! I decided I had the energy to give myself a manicure and pedicure. Every girl should be able to feel feminine once in a while. For me it is very hard to feel beautiful or even presentable during chemo. After all, I have no hair on my head, my limbs are all swollen and so is my face! I also have a very visible set of scars. One of my scars actually covers an implanted port. My nails look awful! I tried Sinful Colors Polish in Grey Leather and it was beautiful at first. Now it is a big eyesore! As a cancer patient, I cannot go to the salon to get my nails done- the risk of infection is too high. So I have to do all my beauty routine at home.

I thought today might be the day that I let new cancer patients in on a few things your doctor will never tell you about your nails:

1. Depending on what type of chemo you are on your nails will flake like crazy.

2. Certain kinds of chemo will cause your nails to try and leave your fingers on a regular basis. They lift up just as if they were acrylic and leave you with a sore, sometimes bloody mess.

3. If you have Lymph edema in your legs or arms you can no longer cut your nails, trim your cuticles, or do anything that might cause a cut!!! If you do cut yourself you run the risk of a big infection that will not heal  because your lymphatic system no longer functions.

4. Your salon routine is a thing of the past. You cannot go to the salon during chemo due to the risk of infection. If you have lymph edema you may never be able to go to the salon for a mani/pedi again!

So here are my tips for giving yourself a manicure or pedicure during chemotherapy treatment. These tips are ongoing for anyone who has Lymph edema ( since you will still have Lymph edema post chemo treatments.

1. If your nails are actually lifting, wear rubber gloves anytime you have to have your hands in water for more than a minute. When my nails were at their worst I even wore gloves in the tub

2. If you can trim your nails- keep them as short as possible.

3. If you cannot trim them due to lymph edema, invest in one of those three sided Emery boards and keep them filed as short as you possibly can.

4. Keep a coat of polish on at all times- this slows the flaking and the lifting.

5. Use a super concentrated thick hand cream on a regular basis, so that you keep from getting hang nails or dry cuticles that could become infected.


I hope these tips will help someone out! Please remember, I am not a doctor. The tips I am providing are just tips I used to help myself during my treatment.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

As a Cancer Patient it is important to set some goals...

This past week, Oscar's employer switched insurance companies. Normally, this is not an issue but, when you are a cancer patient everything is exponentially harder. The change in insurance caused me  to chase around several billings that were posted to the wrong insurance company, re certify a procedure that I needed to have in two days, and most importantly I lost my beloved case worker Eileen B. If you are a cancer patient and you do not have a case worker provided by the insurance company call immediately and get one- they are invaluable! Eileen helped me with everything from side effects to billing!  She also called and listened to me on days when I was desperately sick, or down. Basically, I was able to tell her all the things you don't want to burden your friends and family with. Since she is a nurse, she was able to provide me with some creative solutions. One of the things Eileen helped me to do was maintain some goals through all of this cancer "stuff"- so that I could always keep my eye on the ball.

Yesterday, I finally got to know my new case worker, Lisa J. a bit better. Once again I had to come up with some goals for myself. As a patient with stage 4 cancer, you may think that your only goal should be:

Survive!!!!!

I think that if you really want to live and do it well- you have to do more than just survive your cancer treatment!! So here are the goals we made for the next few months:

1. Find local research studies that I might be eligible for? ( in case I choose to go off chemo in 2014)

2. Research new and alternative methods of treatment that are available in our area. ( qualifier:these have to be covered by our insurance and close enough I could drive there)

3. Figure out and complete all  Medicare Paperwork- find out how this affects our current insurance coverage and our family financially.

4. Get this cancer to a manageable level so that it can be treated like a chronic disease. ( this is not pie in the sky- it is my Oncologists goal for me as well).

5. Live to a ripe old age as a productive member of society!!


If any of you would like to help us with our research, I would be happy to put you to work. Much of this involves studying and reading which is really hard for me right now due to the chemo. I have lined up a few allies to help me but, I could always use a few more.

These are goals that we are working on together as a team. I figured if I posted my goals for all to see, it would be easier to stick to them. If nothing else, you can remind me of what I am supposed to be doing.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Survivor's Blog- September 17, 2013 - Chemo update

Hello Everyone-

Just a quick update for those of you who have been checking in on me. I had my chemo last Weds. and I actually had a couple good days following the treatment. Apparently, this is one of those chemos that makes you so tired that you don't even want to move. Hopefully, I will be out of this "exhausted" phase shortly. Even talking on the phone makes me tired!!! It is hard to get anything done.


Friday, September 13, 2013

Steroids and Chemotherapy- the stuff your doctor does not tell you...

The past few weeks have been up and down for me, I took at 3 week break from chemotherapy to decide if I wanted to try a new treatment. By the end of the first week off, I was miserably sick.  The pain up under my rib cage ( where I have a small tumor) was excruciating and I had abdominal pain that took my breath away. I suspected it was from the lack of steroids in my system.

The doctor's fail to tell you that the way they force your body to accept chemotherapy which is essentially a poison, is to also add large doses of steroids to  your treatment. So while you are sitting there getting chemo. you are also getting a large dose of steroids.

Usually this dose of steroids is the reason for people feeling so good the first few days after chemotherapy. The steroids give you boundless energy. They also help with any pain a patient may be experiencing. The doctor will not tell you that when the steroids start to wear off you are going to start getting sick, sick , sick.

The problem for me seems to be that I have been getting steroids for a year, so when you take them away I become sick. My doctor and nurses sort of shined me on when  I mentioned the lack of steroids as possibly causing my pain? Yet when I restarted my chemo this Wednesday and got dosed up with steroids, my gut pain slowed up considerably.  Today is Friday and the only abdominal pain I have is up under my rib cage.

I wonder if there is any research out there on this phenomenon? If you have heard of any literature on how to get through withdrawing from steroids when you finish chemo I would appreciate you sending it to me.


***Once again I need to mention I am not a Doctor - this is just my interpretation of what is happening to me based on my physical experience.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Survivor's blog September 12, 2013 - Chemo update

Hello Everybody-

I apologize for abruptly stopping my blog posts last month. The final round of Topetecan Chemotherapy was pretty brutal and I was just completely worn out. Finally, at the end of August, I had a doctor's  appointment to evaluate the 3 months of treatment. Turns out the past 3 months of chemo did not work, my tumors grew slightly and my blood work is once again moving the wrong direction. I was really disappointed because the Topetecan was the first drug I have been able to tolerate since starting this process in January 2013.

The recommendation of my doctor was to do more chemotherapy to eradicate the tumors. I have to say I had to take a break of a couple weeks and think about it. I am emotionally and physically exhausted! I finally did make a decision to let them try one last type of chemo on me. So yesterday I had the first of three treatments with a new set of drugs Gemzar and Avastin. So far I am doing fine-- no allergic reactions. I just have a wicked headache!!!

For those of you trying to keep up with my schedule - this treatment is given once every two weeks for a month then I have a doctors appointment the following week to check my progress. This means my next chemo will be on 9/25 at 8:00 am.

I would like to thank all of you for your support and help this year. Oscar and I are both so blessed to have you all in our lives!                                               

Tara

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Survivor's Blog- August 14, 2013 chemo update...

Hey Everyone-

It is my birthday today, and I have really been enjoying all the birthday wishes. We are celebrating this weekend, when I have had a bit of time to recover from all this doctor stuff.

I had my final chemo in this series yesterday, and today I am back at the cancer center hooked up to another IV as I write this. I have been feeling really tired and sick lately. I can barely make it out of bed enough to teach class and make sure we have food on the table. I am also having trouble catching my breath when I walk across a room. Turns out my hemoglobin counts had dropped really low due to all the chemo treatments. The normal treatment for low counts of hemoglobin is to give you a shot of Arenesp or send you off for a blood transfusion. The shot has worked for me in the past so they were planning on doing that. As is typical, they sent it over to my insurance and they wanted to pre- certify it ( ie. find a way not to pay it.). So I could not get the shot yesterday, even though I personally called the insurance company and had my case worker try to push it through.

The lack of shot and all the new chemo from yesterday has left me feeling like I should curl up in a ball off in a corner somewhere!!! The good new is today they will get the shot in me before I leave, and they have also pumped me up with more fluids, steroids, and other stuff that should have me feeling better shortly. I guess the lesson for today is make friends with someone at the insurance company.. if you have an issue they can help you resolve it. Thanks to Eileen B. at Medical Mutual who spent her afternoon yesterday chasing my paperwork around the Columbus office.
Pajamas, IV, and a big ole moon face from steroids!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Survivor's Blog - August 13, 2013 Creativity is good for cancer patients.....

Finally, some proof to back up the theory that creativity is good for cancer patients. For me this is a no brainer, I know that teaching people to use their creative energy and become artists is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Teaching any art class relieves my pain while I am teaching, as well as helps me keep my sanity through all this yucky treatment.

This is the link to the article and study that appeared in the American Cancer Society News letter this month if you would like to read it:

http://img.delivery.net/cm50content/19439/62483/LP/1-3/Landing1.html?utm_campaign=julyaugust2013&utm_medium=email&utm_source=fullserve-20130807-corpcenter-newconnections-julyaugust2013&utm_content=acxiom


Here are a few of the demo cakes, and recipes I have created since becoming a cancer patient! The more silly I get , the better I feel. Check out the " Chick Deviled Eggs" at the bottom of this post!!!



Spider Cake from Demos 2012

 
 
 


Sunday, August 11, 2013

Survivor's Blog August 11, 2013-- A tip about how to get out of bed and functioning on a really bad morning...

I have been meaning to put this tip to paper forever, and then I forget about it. Typical chemo brain!!! I use this tip almost every day. Today I remembered to post it so that you can give it a try. I use it every morning!

Just for the record, I am not advocating pushing yourself to get out of bed if you really need to stay in bed! I am not a doctor- just a person who has had to find ways to cope with cancer. This tip is for days when you feel like you could probably get going, if only you had a bit of help. I have talked to several chemotherapy patients that use this method  of waking up and getting going in the morning. I call my method:








Waking up in Stages:

Step 1: Have all of your cancer drugs within arms reach of your bed. Also have a glass of water with a lid and a straw within arms reach as well. If your pain drugs must be taken with food you want to add crackers to your nightstand too.

Step 2: Alarm #1- My first alarm bell of the day comes two hours prior to the time I must get out of bed. As soon as the first alarm rings, I sit up and decide if I need pain medicine or nausea medicine ( or both).  If I am really painful but, not super sick  to my stomach: I will take one dose of my pain medications, put on my anti nausea psi bands,  stuff down a couple crackers, and then set Alarm #2 for one hour out from my first alarm. If I am super sick I might also take a dose of nausea medication at this time.

If my feet are too sore to put on the floor, I also use this alarm to rub a cayenne based muscle rub on my feet and legs so that it takes effect by the time Alarm # 2 goes off.

Step 3: Alarm #2- When the second alarm rings, I will sit up and take an anti nausea pill if I still need one. Sometimes, if my pain medications and the Psi bands are working, I do not need anti nausea pills. If this is the case I will take my thyroid medication and sleep for one more hour before waking up the final time for Alarm #3.  If my feet are still sore, I will rub one more time with the muscle soreness stuff. When I am done, I set my alarm for one more hour out.


Step 4: Alarm #3- This is the final alarm. Generally, I feel well enough to put my feet on the floor at this point and go on with my morning routine. I always plan a bit more than an hour and a half  after this alarm to get out of the house because, many times I have to take a long hot bath to free up the rest of my muscles and nerve endings without bathing in Muscle rub.

If you are keeping count, my 4 step method for waking up takes three to four hours to accomplish. I plan ahead and assume I am going to use these hours to wake up every day. If I wake up feeling well when the first alarm rings, I go ahead and get up.

Most days though, I have to plan to start my first alarm 2 hours before I actually want to wake up and 3 1/2 to 4 hours before I need to leave the house.  So if I need to be up and out of bed at 8:00 am , I set my alarm clock for 6:00 am. This way I can do everything I need to do to get out of bed and function at the best level I can during the day.

I hope this tip helps those of you that are on chemo out. Waking in stages is a pain in the rear but, it beats not getting out of bed!!!!! I have been able to keep working and functioning in large part due to stumbling onto this method of making my pain and nausea livable.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Survivor's Blog August 8, 2013- Take the Teal Challenge or write me a blog post...

It is Thursday and I am still wiped out from chemo Tuesday. As a matter of fact, I am still in my pajamas as I type this. I did not even bother to put on clothes for the gas man, who is out refilling the propane tank as I type this.

I do have two issues today that need your attention. The first is a fund raising drive for the month of September benefiting Ovarian Cancer Patients. This is an online drive and normally, I would sponsor a page and do the drive myself. However, I am just too pooped to coordinate it. Would any of you like to spearhead a page on my behalf??  Here is the link if you want to try it:

https://ocna.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=register.start&eventID=507

Second issue, I need  a few of you to write blog posts for me. If you look at my August 6, 2013 ( http://scrambledeggssurvivingovariancancer.blogspot.com/2013/08/survivors-blog-august-6-2013.html ) blog post it describes what kind of articles I need, even gives you a few samples. I am just looking for a few contributors willing to inspire folks with cancer and folks caring for cancer patients. It does not have to be anything fancy or earthshaking. It can be done in MS Word or Publisher and I will not do any editing to it.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Survivor's Blog August 6, 2013

Hey Everyone-

Once again, I am at SCOA hooked to an IV pole for chemo. So I am asking all of you to do me a favor: if you are a cancer survivor or if you have supported a person going through cancer I would like you to send me an article for this blog.

I always ask cancer survivors/patients to write about what small thing helped you out the most when you were in cancer treatment?

For caregivers and friends of cancer patients I ask that you write about what you did to support your friend and what seemed to be of most help?

For example, I found the meals my sister cooked up for us the first time I had chemo to super helpful and if I were writing I would mention those as what helped the most. If you are looking for an example here are a couple of past articles to get the creative juices rolling.

http://scrambledeggssurvivingovariancancer.blogspot.com/2013/07/article-by-david-fellow-cancer-survivor.html

http://scrambledeggssurvivingovariancancer.blogspot.com/2013/07/survivors-blog-july-31-2013-article-by.html

The View from my Chemo Chair---IV city!!!!!!
You can send me the article in MS word or Publisher and I will post it directly to my web site. Please remember the goal here is to help other folks with cancer , in particular Ovarian Cancer!

Survivor's Blog August 7, 2013: Adding " Cancer Fighting Foods" into your diet...

I am always looking for new ways to make myself better and stronger to fight this disease. The effects of chemo are always unpredictable and scary. I always try to do as much as I can to stay healthy otherwise. Recently I have been researching and trying " Angiogenic" foods. Angiogenic foods are food that cancer researchers believe will stop tumor growth. Many of the recommended foods are vegetables or fruit with a couple of fish choices as well. The problem I am finding is that each Cancer Society or Organization has a different list of foods posted and recommended as Angiogenic. Basically, I am not sure which list to believe? My gut tells me that if I just stick to a sensible diet high in fruit and vegetables and low in processed foods and meats I will do fairly well.

Here are some of the sites I found with lists of cancer fighting foods:

http://www.angio.org/programs-help.php  - The Angiogenesis Foundation

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-05-18/diet/34971937_1_breast-cancer-cancer-cell-growth-tumour-growth - Article by the Indian Council of Medical Research

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/5-foods-starve-cancer- Dr. Oz's list and article

http://www.aicr.org/foods-that-fight-cancer/?gclid=CPb9vP6s67gCFU6Z4AodnREApA- American Institute for Cancer Research *** This one seems to be the most comprehensive list. Most of it is common sense!!


 The big issue with preparing these Angiogenic foods (as anyone on chemo will tell you) is that some days it is truly an monumental task to prepare your own food. You are either to sick to manage making it or too sick to manage eating it. Other days I manage to make a meal and by the time I have made it I am too exhausted to eat it.The sickness also limits me eating on bad days (particularly fruits because they are a bit acidic and my esophagus's still is burnt from the effects of Doxil).

So for now, I am just trying to eat well and add angiogenic foods where I can. I will also keep researching to see if I can find some better answers than I have so far. Here is what we tried for dinner last night:

Stir Fry with Kale , Chia seeds, and lots of veggies over a mix of rice and quinoa... yummy!!!!

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Survivor's Blog August 3, 2013: A Little Humor.......

Sometimes having cancer is just so unbelievably humiliating that all you can do is see the humor in the whole situation. When you have cancer sometimes the humor is a bit dark! In my case, this has led to some pretty silly moments.

The most recent cancer development is that I am so tired I have to very carefully schedule anything I do so as not to use up too much energy. It is a good thing I don't shop at Wal - Mart because, getting across that much acreage would wear me out!

Publix ( my favorite grocery store), actually offers complimentary scooters you can use while you are shopping. For the past few weeks I have had to use the scooter to get all my shopping done. This is usually the cause of much laughter for all the staff at Publix. I always warn them.. come near me and I may hit you.......

Last week Courtney shopped with me and everything was OK until I had to back the scooter up.  As I started backing up .. the back up beepers came on. Beep , beep , beep.... I sounded just like a forklift in reverse....

Why oh why, did they have to make me sound like a thousand pounds of boxes going backwards in a warehouse??? Or like the Garbage truck at 6:00 am????

 
Of course, Court found this so funny she had to film it......... Nothing like a few well placed beeps to keep you humble.



 

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Survivor's Blog July 31, 2013: Article by Erin Dempsey...

Hello Everyone-

I thought I would take a break today since chemo yesterday made me pretty sick. As I write this I am again hooked to an IV pole at SCOA. Today I will let someone else do the writing.

This is an article written by my Sister, Erin Dempsey.  She and her daughter, Courtney, have been helping out with my cancer care since my diagnosis in June 2011. I am not sure how Oscar and I would have survived all of the ups and downs of cancer without their help. As you will see , I have been very blessed by the people I have around me.. Courtney and Erin rock!!!

As with all my other guest blog posters, I asked Erin to talk a bit about how all this affected her? I also asked her what she thought was the most helpful thing she was able to do for the cancer patient she was a caregiver for , in this case me?


Just in case you don't know, I never edit or change guest blog posts in any way!

Here is what she wrote:




 
How To Help a Family Member with Cancer

 My Sister Tara asked me to provide a contribution to her blog about how to help a family member with cancer.

Hmmm, where do you even start with that one?  Well, I guess we can start with the obvious…

a)    Hear diagnosis and have a ton of bricks fall on your head

b)    Make a lame attempt at absorbing the shock and not saying something stupid

c)     Immediately conjure up the thought of curing cancer yourself – right now.  How do you translate all that marketing experience with computer companies the last 25 years into immediate and earth shattering results in the lab? Maybe…?? NOT!!

d)    GET REAL ABOUT HERE AND NOW

If you have been following Tara’s blog, I don’t need to remind you of how this all went down and I will work to stay on point with simple ideas that seemed to help her and may possibly help someone else going through this battle.

After you have had a minute to experience that initial, immediate and overwhelming sense of helplessness that happens when you hear about a loved one having cancer, try to start to think about the small and everyday things that appear to be super simple …

UHHHH unless you feel like CRAP because you have CANCER!

That is where I started my thought process – since she is dealing with all this, what can be taken off her plate to make all that other stuff easier to handle?

My first thought (probably still in “shock” land) was – how do we keep weight on her while she is going through this?  Many have seen and understood that the disease takes a toll on weight, not to mention the process to try and rid someone of that disease. Tara said she did not have the energy to cook, and many of the smells a lot of foods were putting off made her want to barf!

Take action – don’t sit around. Not only does this keep your racing mind occupied, but you are actually getting something done that could make a difference!  This may vary from person to person depending on his/her needs.  In Tara’s case, I took my butt to the kitchen and decided to whip up some of my specialties I thought she might like, or at the very least could pick and choose from – eliminating the need for cooking while she was dealing with a crazy routine of medical appointments, hospital and chemo visits.  The ironic and hysterical part about this action was that I have been listening to her husband make jokes about my cooking for 14 years (as in, I suck at it).  Nevertheless, I was determined not to poison her more than the cancer.  I packed everything up in easy single serving meals and hauled it over…

Long story short, she was able to eat some of the things I brought and no cooking was needed.  It got them through a week or so straight out of the hospital.  Just one less thing.

Advocacy is a big deal.  It turns out that when people get slammed with life-threatening news, it is a lot to take in...??!!  If you can, try to be there to listen to the doctors and nurses.  Take notes and ASK QUESTIONS.  I don’t care if they look at you like you are from Mars – make sure you understand the information being imparted.  Your family member with cancer is generally in pain, totally overwhelmed by the information being given from all different directions and having a hard time navigating the medical system – insurance issues and otherwise. It’s not called “Chemo Brain” for nothing!  Do not take for granted that the patient will retain information given them or that any nurse or doctor walking in that room knows who she/he is, what exactly is needed, etc.  Those folks are human and can be capable of human error just like anyone else.  Additionally, make sure the patient and those they trust believe that the medical team surrounding them is the best one for the job.  The patient is the customer, and THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT.  If something makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t sit right, or feels just plain wrong – question it, change it, do whatever it takes to get your loved one informed and comfortable with who is treating them.

Check on the other ones.  You are probably not the only one having a hard time coping, feeling helpless or overwhelmed.  There are others that may be too and need to be heard and helped if needed.  Take the time to ask them how they are doing and listen.  You may find an outlet or source of support in the meantime.  At the very least, you can find ways to collaborate on things that might help the one dealing with being poked and prodded on a regular basis. 

Here’s something a little more personal but works for me… I am not a girl to blow smoke up people’s butts, and that isn’t going to start because you have cancer, but I DO truly believe that one day should be taken at a time.  Staying positive and keeping it real has worked well for us.  Dealing with here and now seems to make the most sense.  Jump over one hurdle before you start freaking out about the next.  Do your best to talk your loved one off the fence when you see them starting to “spin”.  Be a good anchor!

What I have discovered over the last two years is that there are ways to help that do matter and can make a difference.  Finding a complete cure for cancer would be awesome, but dealing with immediate needs seems to make the most real sense for those of us that aren’t rocket scientists. 

Lastly – never miss the opportunity to tell someone you love them.  Tara and I came from a fractured family that didn’t do that and one of the coolest things that came out of that was wanting to be there for each other and not missing those opportunities – cancer be damned.  We just roll like that!
 
 
Erin and I as children in California!




Sunday, July 28, 2013

Survivor's Blog: June 28, 2013- Want to feel better, go jump in the lake!!!!




Some days you just have to do something for yourself! With all the rules the Doctor's and Nurses have given me when I am on chemo it is a wonder I can leave the house. I am not supposed to be out in the sun , sit by sunny windows, get too tired, or be out around the public. If I listed all the rules here, I am not left with much I can do. My policy so far has been to use common sense and do my best to stick to the rules where I can. I am still out working with the public ( which irks my Doctor). I feel like I need to get out and see people or I will lose my mind sitting at home!!!
 
 
 A couple of days ago my Niece, Courtney,  and I made a run to 14 Carat in Lexington, SC for some organic healthy stuff we can't get at Publix. Lake Murray looked so inviting that we decided to stop in at the park on our way home and get our feet wet!  Jumping in the lake may not be on the Doctor's list but, we sure had fun!!!!!

The moral is sometimes you just have to go ahead and have some fun, it will make you feel better....

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Article by David - A fellow cancer survivor.....

In today's article, my good friend, David A. talks about what his friends did to help him when he had cancer. David is  an incredible photographer. We met in 2011 when we were both recovering from cancer, he was interviewing and photographing cancer patients for a book he is writing on surviving cancer.

If you would like to check out his work go to:

http://www.asiamahphotography.com/

Here is what David writes about what helped him most when he was in cancer treatment:


Sitting and Doing Stuff: What my friends did that helped me cope with The Suck

 

I can start by saying that in reflecting back I may be attributing some meaning to aspects of my experience that may not have been true in the moment.  I know I needed more than anything a sense of normalcy and those privy to my experience at the time conscious or not or perhaps because I requested it, provided as much.   If I can simplify the value of the experience with my friends I would place the helpful experiences in two categories, sitting and doing stuff.

 

Treatment was boring.  Sitting for five-six hours with God knows what being pumped into your body offered perhaps a chance to be reflective but I appreciated the company most of the time.  I was selective about who came because very few could sit there without the compulsory sad face to go with it.  Most conversations were about work or what I was reading at the time.  My friend Greg offered an endless supply of graphic novels to help me pass the time.  Sometimes it was the morbid outlook of some of the people around me.  Sometimes I would sleep through the visits.  I remember that I found some comfort in another’s (David S.) teenaged experience with the same type of cancer.  Another friend Gelila would come hang out with me every Sunday evening during the week of treatment (The Suck) and watch animation domination.  As much as I hated her asking if I needed anything every five seconds I came to recognize that she gave me something to look forward to.  It was an opportunity to hang out and I was more inclined to focus on her company than how I was going to be feeling.

 

When it came to doing stuff, Clark was my enabler.   Clark would pick me up (driving seemed to make the nausea worse) on a few of my really horrible days to attend parties and offer opportunities to chase women I had no business or real interest in chasing.  I was stubborn enough to fake my way through most events without anyone catching on and the one or two observant folks who did so were easily thrown off with some nonsensical excuse they rarely if ever chose to press further. 

           

Above all else, my experience showed me how much I valued my ability to create.  Having friends attend shoots as assistants was helpful.  I came to appreciate the little things like the offer to carry my pack.  Sometimes they got in the way of the work but the fact that they made it possible for me to be out there creating was a blessing.  There were some ill-advised beach and mountain trips (Edisto and Asheville, respectively) that I found incredibly refreshing if only for the change in scenery and the opportunities to create somewhere else.  The way I saw it, I could feel crappy at home on the sofa or I could feel crappy doing something fun some place else.  The some place else offered a number of things, the most important being the opportunity to get to know someone a bit better than for some reason other opportunities had failed to provide.  There was never a question at least that I can remember of whether I felt up to doing something.  It was usually “hey, you know what would be really cool?”…And away we went.