Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Survivor's Blog - August 12, 2014- Chemo update from Tara .....

Hello Everyone,

As you may have noticed, posted in about 4 months on either of my blog sites. I owe you all a big Mea Culpa for the lack of blogs and updates lately. For those of you that  have been calling, I owe you a really big "sorry" as well. I promise I have your messages and will be calling you as soon as I can!

Here is what is going on, I hope it explains my lack of follow up lately:

Firstly, I am still in chemo. I looked at my calendar today and realized I have been in chemo for 20 months straight. Chemo treatment requires that I spend most of Monday and Tuesday at the Cancer Center hooked to an IV.

I am also teaching a couple of classes at Michael's per week and these take about 3 hours of time for each class.

Aside from these mandatory obligations, I am mostly so tired that it is hard to get out of bed. The accumulation of twenty months of chemo treatments has finally hit me full force and I am beyond exhausted.  If you have been in cancer treatment before, you know that cancer exhaustion is unlike anything else you have ever experienced. I have many days where I just can't move. Plus anything that stimulates my brain in the wrong way can also ramp up the exhaustion. It is supremely hard for me to hold a conversation right now- I get so tired!!! I am also bothered by lights, smells, tastes, sounds, and crowds, pretty much anything that would make me a normal social person! My energy levels lately sort of work like a bank. I  have a minimum amount of energy to draw from each day, if I  take more than my minimum- I pay for it later!!!

On top of all the treatment stuff, my  blood work numbers are going the wrong way and the Nurses think that the Taxol chemotherapy may no longer be working for me. I am actually very OK with this as I am about at my wit's end with traditional treatments anyway! I will be discussing all of this with my Doctor in two weeks and in the meantime I am going to set up a second opinion and see if I can get into a non- traditional FDA study in Houston as well. I'll post what I find out as soon as they have anything meaningful to tell me.

The amazing Miss Elizabeth and my wonderful husband, Oscar,  are the only reason that the house is not falling down around my ears. And I am losing Elizabeth this week. She is moving off to California on Thursday ( if any of you know of a good personal assistant who wants to work a few hours a week let me know!) . I am not sure how I will manage without some house hold/health help.

Plus in the last four weeks we have had visitor after visitor, and only some of them were planned for. We really enjoyed our visit with cousins Mark, Heather and Heidi. And then just a few days later, my Father and Roberta surprised us with a week long visit. I loved having everyone here but, I am currently paying for it in exhaustion.

Basically, due to all this treatment stuff I am completely out of touch and not able to do much about it. I will tell you that if you really need to reach me or check on us, I do have an easier time with email. The simplest address to find me at is tararobinson@sc.rr.com. Of course, you can also call and check in with Oscar and he will relay me anything you need!

Be assured that I love and appreciate the cards, calls, and help all of you give me and I miss you. Hopefully the exhaustion and chemo brain stuff will pass soon and I will be back to normal.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Survivor's Blog April 26, 2014- Shave your head if you have to have chemo!!!! ProStyles will do it for a special price....

The first thing I tell new cancer patients is always shave your head if you have to have chemo. If the doctor tells you that your hair will fall out - go immediately to the barber and get your head shaved! The reason for shaving your head is a nasty little secret the doctors don't tell you, about 10% off all cancer patients get an infection called folliculitus when their hair starts to fall out.

When I was first diagnosed, I had beautiful long strawberry blond hair. My poor husband panicked when I wanted to just shave it and be done with it prior to chemotherapy. So I didn't shave it.When it started to fall out my head started to hurt like crazy, then it started to burn, and after the burn came bloody little blisters. At that point,  my hair had to come off and I had to cut over those awful blisters. It was one of the worst cancer side effects I have had in three years. So shave your head and prevent the whole problem.

The first time I had my head shaved I went to a salon and had them shave my head. Of course, stylists in a women's salon don't use their clippers that much and the side effect of this for me was a burnt scalp. Plus I did not feel so good when I left, it was clearly harder for the stylist to shave my head than it was for me to have it shaved.

In January of 2014  I found out I would have to shave my head once again. This time I got smart and went to the men's barber shop. I figured who has more experience with clippers than a Barber who does fades all day long?

I was very lucky that we had a new Barber Shop, ProStyles, open up right around the corner from the house. Jay was kind enough to shave my head. It was very cool because he did not make a big deal out of it , he just gave me a super smooth head!

I had to go back and get it re shaved this week, and Jay once again did a wonderful job.

The guys at the shop are running an ongoing special for cancer survivors, go on in and get a shave and they will reduce the cost to $10.00

Give  them a call at (803) 732-1411 to schedule an appointment, they also take walk ins.

What is left of my hair before...

Myself and Jay, The Barber, after my shave....




Monday, April 21, 2014

Survivor's Blog April 21, 2014- Has anyone else had a rash from Taxol?

Hello Everyone-

For those of you who have not heard from me lately , this is why. I have been reacting to the Taxol for the past few weeks. I am getting a rash on my arms that makes the skin pop open and bleed. It is itchy too. Mostly though, the reaction fires all my nerves and makes every nerve ending feel like I am on fire. I feel as if I poured gasoline on myself and lit a match. When the reaction subsides a bit, I am so tired from pain that all I can do is go to bed.

So far the doctors have not figured out what is happening and they have no idea what to do to stop it. I am using Tea Tree Oil and a prescription cream for Eczema that are helping a bit. I think the problem is my immune system is just overwhelmed and I am paying the price in allergies and exhaustion.

Do any of you cancer patients have any help for me? Have you had this rash? If so, how did they treat you? You can send me a message at taraleed@live.com


Have a great day-

Tara
Rash from Taxol after a few days of healing......

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Survivor's Blog April 15, 2014- Chemo Update....

As you all may have noticed, I have not been blogging lately. It is a beautiful spring here in South Carolina but, I have not taken advantage of it. As much as I would like too write, the effects of chemo have made it very hard to write anything concise and coherent. Unfortunately, I am also having trouble talking and listening ( ironic isn't it). I am sorry I have been out of touch with so many of you.

Here is the good news, yesterday when I got my blood work my CA125 number is now almost normal, I am at 44.5 and a normal woman's CA125 is 35 or under. This means that I should be able to leave chemo treatments behind shortly.

Meanwhile, I am having a reaction to the current round of chemo - so as soon as I am not hooked to an IV pole today I will be home in bed.

A big thank you to everyone for their kind cards, letters and phone calls in the past few weeks. Hopefully, things will be back to normal soon!!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Survivor's Blog - March 2, 2014- Creative Scarf Tying, use them to cover your infusion port...

Today chemo is kicking me and not the other way around. I know I will be fine in an hour or two when my energy kicks in. In the meantime, I thought I would share with all of you a video from Nordstrom. If  you are a cancer survivor you are always looking for creative ways to cover your infusion port and Nordstrom's  produced a beautiful video on creative scarf tying.  The link is here if you would like to check it out.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=-ExVRCJ0Jrw

It is a good one whether you have a port or just love scarves.



Saturday, March 1, 2014

Survivor's Blog - March 1, 2014- Meet my new brave friend Julie G!

Hello Everyone-

 I am having trouble getting anyone to write anything for my blog, and I am too pooped to do so. Today I am going to change gears and introduce you to a really inspirational person I met at chemo a couple of weeks ago. Julie G. is also an ovarian cancer patient and she is so brave and kick ass about all of this. We were excited to meet each other in chemo because it is really rare to meet an ovarian cancer under the age of 65. Unfortunately, I think it is because many younger folks like us, are not diagnosed until the disease is just too far along! Those of us who are young and surviving need to make it our mission for everyone we know to be aware of Ovarian Cancer and its amorphous symptoms.

Here is how Julie decided to let everyone know about her diagnosis:

She went and had her son ( a tattoo artist) give her this cool Ovarian cancer ribbon tattoo.

 
Then she shaved her head and showed up to treatment BALD and PROUD!
 
I must say it was nice to have company.
 
JULIE you ROCK and you will inspire so many people to keep on keepin on!
 
To learn more about the symptoms of Ovarian Cancer you can go to:
 
 
 
 

Friday, February 28, 2014

Survivor's Blog- February 28, 2014- Some information about Locks of Love....

Hi Everyone-

Several of my friends have been generous enough to give up their "normal" hairstyles and grow their hair out long to donate to "Locks Of Love". If you are not familiar with them, Locks of Love accepts donated hair to make wigs for children with cancer or other diseases that involve hair loss. Any hair that they cannot make into wigs they sell to finance the program.

The thing folks don't know is that there are some very specific guidelines for hair donation that you need to follow.  The link below has all of them, they are very specific about what kind of hair they can accept. The guidelines below are just a small part of the list. If your hair is bleached, treated , or permed you  need to check the current guidelines on their site. You can follow this link or print the guidelines I pulled from their site:

http://www.locksoflove.org/donate.html


HOW TO DONATE:

  • 10 inches measured tip to tip is the minimum length needed for a hairpiece.
  • Hair must be in a ponytail or braid before it is cut.
  • Hair must be clean and completely dry before it is mailed in.
  • Place the ponytail or braid inside of a plastic bag, and then inside of a padded envelope.
  • If you wish to receive an acknowledgment for your hair donation, please fill out the hair donation form, or write your name and e-mail address or mailing address on a full size separate sheet of paper and include inside the envelope. We cannot acknowledge donors who do not send their name and address according to these instructions.
  • All hair donations must be mailed to Locks of Love at:

    234 Southern Blvd.
    West Palm Beach, FL 33405-2701
  • **IMPORTANT** When mailing your donation, please make sure that you are sending it with adequate postage. The U.S. Postal Service has notified Locks of Love that many donations are being sent without enough postage, and these packages will be returned to sender! To ensure adequate postage, please take your donation to your local post office.
  • Thank you!

The photos are of my lovely sister in crime, Jennifer T., who took them yesterday after she got a rocking new hairdo!!! Hope she doesn't mind being blogged out to the world! She has no idea how much we cancer survivors appreciate her bravery and her donation.





Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Survivor's Blog - February 25, 2014 Chemo Update and Update for all family members!!

Hello Everyone-

Just wanted to post a quick update and let everyone know that chemo yesterday went  as well as can be expected. My blood counts are still holding up so I am on track do keep doing this weekly until April.

The other good news is this. I finally got my insurance to pay for the BRAC analysis. You may be wondering what I mean by BRAC analysis? The BRAC test is a genetic test that test to see if you have the gene that predisposes you for breast and ovarian cancer. The good news is that I do not have the gene, I am negative. Since I have no children this does not affect me too much. The reason I had the test was to encourage all my female family members especially those of you who are sisters, aunts, and cousins to go get the test. Ovarian cancer tends to run in families and I intend to be the only Heath/ Miller or Dempsey affected with this if I can help it. You may want to get tested anyway. I would encourage you to do so but, it is likely if you are close to me that you have a low chance of having the gene crop up.

If you have followed the news lately it was a positive BRAC test that caused Angelina Jolie the actress to opt for a mastectomy instead of possibly developing the cancer that killed her mother.  I am not sure I would choose removal of my ovaries or breasts just because I might get cancer. I feel that allowing them to remove my unaffected ovary and have a hysterectomy was a big mistake despite the wonderful medical care I had. I know if I had not been in an emergency situation, I would only have had them remove the cancer. I do know that if I were BRAC positive I would definitely have them screening and scanning me yearly for cancer!!!!

To read about Angelina's choice and the study that prompted it go to:
http://www.examiner.com/article/angelina-jolie-shines-spotlights-on-oophorectomy-to-prevent-ovarian-cancer







Thursday, February 20, 2014

Survivor's Blog- February 20, 2014- A wonderful free program for Cancer Survivors.

A couple of weeks ago I finally had a chance to attend a " Healing Icons" support group and art class. This class is held at different locations around Columbia monthly and offers cancer survivors a chance to work out their feelings about cancer and treatment through guided art therapy sessions. The best part is the class is completely free for Cancer survivors! Of all the activities I have tried to support my cancer recovery, I have to say this one rates at the top!

Healing Icons is the first support group where I felt comfortable and like I fit in. After the class I felt about ten pounds lighter, it was really transformative. My art work was no great shakes but, I was amazed by how much emotion I was able to clear out by putting pen to paper.


My February guided art work.


 


If you would like to join a class or just see what Healing Icons is all about you can go to their web site at:

www.healingicons.org

or call them at (803) 429-4151

Monday, February 17, 2014

Survivor's Blog- February 17, 2014 A little inspiration please.....

Today was chemo day and I feel a bit like a train ran over me. The upside is my CA125 blood count had dropped by almost half, so this chemo is working and much faster than we thought it would.

 Instead of blogging, I thought I would give you a link to someone who has inspired me for the past 3 years:  Kris Carr, the woman who made the documentary " Crazy, Sexy, Cancer".

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Crazy-Sexy-Cancer-Kris-Carr-on-Finding-Joy-Video

All you do is click on the center of her photo and  you can enjoy her digital short. I would find her inspiring and a great role model regardless of my cancer status.


Friday, February 14, 2014

Survivor's Blog- February 14, 2014- Remembering those I have lost to cancer....

As many of you may already know, I drew the cancer card in the family. I have no family history of Ovarian Cancer or any cancer really. My cousin, Mike, was the only family member I am aware of who passed from cancer. His cancer does not really count as family history though, since his cancer was a result of the anti rejection drugs he had to take for his kidney transplant. Despite that, I feel as if the last thirty years have been incredibly hard on my friends and the people who are closest to me with regard to cancer.

I lost my first friend to it when we were both 17 and only a couple weeks out of high school. It was a big shock because, Valerie B. and I had been friends since kindergarten. More recently, I lost Wally Comer, the man who was my adopted Dad, best friend, and mentor. Then we lost Oscar's wonderful father, OJ, then Mrs. Fogle ( who was Bonnie's Mother- in - law).  I also lost Carol T., who was the closest friend I had here in South Carolina. And then to my dismay my beloved best friend and Cousin, Mike D., also passed from cancer. Six months after Mike's death, I had to make a call home and tell my family that I too had cancer!

All of these people were incredible people. Each one of them taught me how to hold your head up and walk tall in the world. Mike taught me perseverance and tenacity and Wally showed me how to live each moment with joy!

Every once in a while, I get a chance to remember these folks and honor them. Just before the holidays, I had a chance to write an article for the ACVRC, ( short for the American Cancer Victim's Rights Campaign). I chose to write the article in honor of Wally Comer.

Here it is if you would like to take a look and see what I have been up to:

http://cancervictimsrights.org/?s=wally+comer





Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Survivor's Blog February 12, 2014 - How I approached cancer with WWMD.

Much to my Doctor's dismay, the day after I was diagnosed I decided to approach cancer as I do my business. In real life, I run my own teaching business. I am responsible for my own marketing, budgeting , scheduling, and most importantly my future goals.

Since I had no other tools at my disposal, I decided to get organized and visualize a "Cancer Free" status just like I would visualize any other goal I set for myself. I hope these ideas help you too. Already, I have lived well past what the doctor's would have me believe was my expiration date.


 Here are the steps I followed to overcome a cancer diagnosis:

1. Organize a Cancer Binder-  This is just a big binder I made to organize my treatment. I made tabs for treatment options, caregivers, blood work, and tracking inside. Every time I go to the doctor I add to this binder. It allows me to keep track of what we have tried, what things work, and what  things do not. I keep it in my bedroom in case I have an emergency, any EMT or care giver can reference it.

2. Get a Mission Statement- " I am healthy and Cancer Free!" . I meditate on this every morning. I think this one simple sentence has helped me to convince my doctors to treat me as a healthy person who just happens to have cancer instead of a sick person on my way to the grave.

3. Find Inspiration- When I was hospitalized I was so sick I could barely move without assistance. I decided early on that I would try to follow my Cousin Mike's example, and face Cancer with as much grace and positive energy as I could muster! I remembered Mike's best friend,Patti, telling me that after his death she had bumper stickers made that said, "What would Mike do?", because Mike was the most inspirational person ever. Mike never complained, and he took life by the horns and lived every minute at full tilt!

So we put my inspiration "WWMD" on the white board across from my bed.  I could see that WWMD all day long. Every time I felt like giving up, I looked at that board and thought about what a wonderful life my cousin lived. It inspired me to follow his example and move forward.


4. Set Goals- Goals are ever changing but, you need to have something to work toward. So every time I have something new come up I reset or adjust my goals. They don't have to be realistic, you just have to set a goal so you have a reason to get out of bed and work toward something each day.

It really does not matter if treatment causes you to change them every day, a goal is just impetus to move forward. It can be as simple as "Today I am going to get out of bed and be up for 5 minutes".

5. Ask Questions- I have driven several doctor's crazy with this. For every appointment I attend, I bring a list of questions and a note book. At first, my oncologist was not comfortable with this- he thought I was questioning him and his expertise. I finally had to explain to him that I was asking questions so that I could understand what was happening to me. This way I could choose if I wanted to participate in what they were offering me or not. You have a right to say no to any treatment or any doctor you want. You also have a right to ask questions, take  notes, and participate fully in your healing!

6. Keep track- I use my cancer book and goals to keep track of how I am doing. I  never trust it to the doctors and nurses. Medical personnel are wonderful people but, they are only human. They have tons of patients to keep track of and mistakes are often made. You on  the other hand, just have you to keep track of. At first I used a chart, now I just use the notes I keep in my cancer book to stay clear on how I am progressing.



My Cousin Mike at Sunset Beach in California.




Monday, February 10, 2014

Survivor's Blog Feb. 10, 2014- Chemo update

Hello Everyone-

For those of you following my progress through the world of treatment, here is the update. I am currently on a regime of chemo called Taxol. This chemo is a little easier on me than the ones in the past. I am on only one chemo drug this time (usually I am on two chemo drugs at the same time). I go in for chemo every Monday at SCOA from about 7 am- 11am for 3 weeks in a row. On the fourth Monday, I go in for blood work and a meeting with the Doctor. I will be undergoing this treatment through the month of April.

Today was week 4 for me. My results look good. They were able to give me all but my CA125 number since the lab was super  busy today.

The new chemo is also a bit easier on my looks, I am starting to lose the look of a person who is all puffed up with steroids.

I also was able to pick up a lovely red hat and scarf that some kind soul had knitted for those of us with bald heads!!! A big thank you to the knitter that was cool enough to make hats with matching scarves.

I should be reporting soon that I am cancer free!





Saturday, February 8, 2014

Survivor's Blog February 8, 2014- I am back...

As many of you may have noticed, I stopped blogging just prior to Thanksgiving. I have to admit that this year the holiday stress and treatment got the better of me. I find it very hard to write or talk when I am on certain kinds of chemo treatment. This sounds weird but, every time you sit and write or talk with some one you end up giving up a bit of energy and energy is precious when you are on treatment.

I also found that as 2013 came to a close, I was starting to become really tired! I have been in treatment for more than two years. I have done my best to make the whole cancer thing a positive experience. For some reason, sometime in November I finally hit a wall of exhaustion. Most cancer patients hit this wall soon after their initial diagnosis. I think it took so long to hit me because, my cancer diagnosis was actually a relief and not the terrible thing it is for most people. I had been sick for so long when they diagnosed me that I was just relieved to know what the heck was wrong with me. Taxol chemotherapy. We are hoping that this knocks back the cancer, so that I will tip over into remission. I am still determined to be cancer-free!!!


I also was told in November that the entire year of treatments in 2013 did not work. So here I am in February on a new regime of

And now that the holidays are over I will be blogging again.

If any of you have ideas for blog posts or would like to write a post, please contact me at taraleed@live.com.