Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Survivor's Blog - August 12, 2014- Chemo update from Tara .....

Hello Everyone,

As you may have noticed, posted in about 4 months on either of my blog sites. I owe you all a big Mea Culpa for the lack of blogs and updates lately. For those of you that  have been calling, I owe you a really big "sorry" as well. I promise I have your messages and will be calling you as soon as I can!

Here is what is going on, I hope it explains my lack of follow up lately:

Firstly, I am still in chemo. I looked at my calendar today and realized I have been in chemo for 20 months straight. Chemo treatment requires that I spend most of Monday and Tuesday at the Cancer Center hooked to an IV.

I am also teaching a couple of classes at Michael's per week and these take about 3 hours of time for each class.

Aside from these mandatory obligations, I am mostly so tired that it is hard to get out of bed. The accumulation of twenty months of chemo treatments has finally hit me full force and I am beyond exhausted.  If you have been in cancer treatment before, you know that cancer exhaustion is unlike anything else you have ever experienced. I have many days where I just can't move. Plus anything that stimulates my brain in the wrong way can also ramp up the exhaustion. It is supremely hard for me to hold a conversation right now- I get so tired!!! I am also bothered by lights, smells, tastes, sounds, and crowds, pretty much anything that would make me a normal social person! My energy levels lately sort of work like a bank. I  have a minimum amount of energy to draw from each day, if I  take more than my minimum- I pay for it later!!!

On top of all the treatment stuff, my  blood work numbers are going the wrong way and the Nurses think that the Taxol chemotherapy may no longer be working for me. I am actually very OK with this as I am about at my wit's end with traditional treatments anyway! I will be discussing all of this with my Doctor in two weeks and in the meantime I am going to set up a second opinion and see if I can get into a non- traditional FDA study in Houston as well. I'll post what I find out as soon as they have anything meaningful to tell me.

The amazing Miss Elizabeth and my wonderful husband, Oscar,  are the only reason that the house is not falling down around my ears. And I am losing Elizabeth this week. She is moving off to California on Thursday ( if any of you know of a good personal assistant who wants to work a few hours a week let me know!) . I am not sure how I will manage without some house hold/health help.

Plus in the last four weeks we have had visitor after visitor, and only some of them were planned for. We really enjoyed our visit with cousins Mark, Heather and Heidi. And then just a few days later, my Father and Roberta surprised us with a week long visit. I loved having everyone here but, I am currently paying for it in exhaustion.

Basically, due to all this treatment stuff I am completely out of touch and not able to do much about it. I will tell you that if you really need to reach me or check on us, I do have an easier time with email. The simplest address to find me at is tararobinson@sc.rr.com. Of course, you can also call and check in with Oscar and he will relay me anything you need!

Be assured that I love and appreciate the cards, calls, and help all of you give me and I miss you. Hopefully the exhaustion and chemo brain stuff will pass soon and I will be back to normal.

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